COPING WITH TODAY'S PAIN

JANUARY 2025

He comes and he goes.  Leading up to inauguration day, he stopped for a visit to talk about what he sees as he watches from wherever he’s spending time, somewhere up in heaven.

That’s my best friend, Tim.  My guess is that he’s checking on me, not to cause me pain, but to help ease the pain of the emotions I’ve been coping with lately.  Tim knows my thoughts concerning the new administration and the person who’ll soon to take the oath of office.  Tim knows the words of that oath are sacred.  That day in January promises to be one of inward and outward protest and reflection.  I’ve thought long and hard about what kind of day it will be.

In recent weeks, I’ve listened to podcasts and read blogposts about what America can expect during the next four years.  Rather than allow myself to feel completely down and depressed, I’ve decided to explore my options in an effort to turn anger and frustration into action.  That’s what my parents would advise me to do.  That’s what my oldest brother would advise me to do.  My best friend would call me on the telephone, highlight the events and activities that I should be involved in, and push me to slow the pace of the menacing work that so many mean-spirited people have established as their agenda.

I have news for them.  The stars and stripes flying in front of my home tell the world that this great country of ours is my America too.

When I consider the major political issues facing us today, I realize that I could not be more opposed to what some people believe.  As a concerned American living in a red state, I cannot stand idly by while issues related to healthcare, social security, reproductive rights, taxes, LGBTQ+ rights, race, and climate change loom as opportunities to be reduced, eliminated, blocked, overturned, ignored, and denied.  I’ll fight.

Tim would tell me, “Michael, you have to find a way .”

So, here I sit, thinking about all that I fought for and represented in the past.  As an executive, I recall the days I worked to identify opportunities for men and women, some of whom looked like me, in an effort to level the playing field.  I was proud of my achievements in those Fortune 500 companies.  Opening doors, setting new standards for excellence, and serving as an example of what’s good about our country made me feel proud.

That was then.  This is now.  Today, diversity, equity, and inclusion are bad words.  It saddens me to think that the youngest members of my family, my great nieces and nephews, may miss opportunities to succeed simply because the newly elected leader and his followers lack clarity of vision and honesty of purpose to work through the challenges that would reinforce America’s standing as a great nation.

I’m retired.  I’ve been retired for nearly ten years.

“Just because you’re retired is no reason to retreat,” Tim would say to me.

My friend would also point out the irony taking place on January 20, 2025.  It’s a national holiday, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  It’s also Inauguration Day.  Tim and I would talk about a most important question Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. left with us, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, what are you doing for others?”

When I consider the question – and its meaning, I find that I’m driven to do what I can for others – and lead by example.  As a leader in my new community, a facilitator of an OLLI class at the University of Arizona, a volunteer at the Tucson Festival of Books, I engage in activities that I believe help maintain standards of excellence for everyone.  Leading by example is more than I can say about the individual who’ll soon become our President of the United States.  Imagine one of your grandchildren growing up to be like him.

The pain associated with America’s new reality cuts deeply.  It hurts.  My friend in heaven comes and goes in an effort to help me cope.  He reminds me of all that I have to live for.  His reminders fuel my tank.

From this day forward, I intend to focus on where I’m going instead of where I’ve been.

As Coach John Wooden reminded us, “Don't live in the past, you can't do anything about the past.  It will never change whether it's yesterday or last year.  The future is yet to be determined and can be influenced by what you do today.  Today is the only day that really matters.”